"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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