That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
