I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
