I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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