I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
