You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
