I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
