There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
