It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
