fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
