I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
