so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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