how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
