you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
