shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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