remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
