If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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