my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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