paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
