IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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