But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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