when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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