Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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