Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
