I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.