Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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  (315): my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple http://tfl.nu/6ez5
  Replies (8) Good night (864) Bad night (1790)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...

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  (703): i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk... http://tfl.nu/wk7z
  Replies (29) Good night (3618) Bad night (1847)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.

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  (313): I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before. http://tfl.nu/lr8m
  Replies (14) Good night (1712) Bad night (3486)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"

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  (224): he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?" http://tfl.nu/j7hy
  Replies (44) Good night (7698) Bad night (4496)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.

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  (410): remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that. http://tfl.nu/awcg
  Replies (21) Good night (4022) Bad night (1285)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside

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  (425): we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside http://tfl.nu/0lr5
  Replies (26) Good night (5452) Bad night (730)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.

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  (330): I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him. http://tfl.nu/hzd4
  Replies (17) Good night (996) Bad night (7004)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.

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  (207): she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait. http://tfl.nu/lngn
  Replies (10) Good night (1482) Bad night (3302)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.

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  (630): He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses. http://tfl.nu/2f5f
  Replies (15) Good night (1797) Bad night (4744)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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  (412): At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car http://tfl.nu/wr7k
  Replies (9) Good night (1942) Bad night (1128)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

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  (647): Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again. http://tfl.nu/e5f9
  Replies (4) Good night (497) Bad night (1219)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.

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  (920): I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months. http://tfl.nu/4vnx
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (564)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.

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  (405): Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/dhlk
  Replies (9) Good night (1767) Bad night (447)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.

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  (905): I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th. (1-905): Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/74vi
  Replies (5) Good night (515) Bad night (399)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.

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  (832): No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even. http://tfl.nu/n3x6
  Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (290)

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