Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Succeeded.

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  (404): I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life? (503): Succeeded. http://tfl.nu/i020
  Replies (7) Good night (4712) Bad night (742)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  he referred to my room as the tit cave...

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  (210): he referred to my room as the tit cave... http://tfl.nu/3oen
  Replies (9) Good night (2096) Bad night (3647)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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  (707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e
  Replies (26) Good night (1446) Bad night (4839)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?

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  (203): i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today? http://tfl.nu/2t0w
  Replies (20) Good night (5287) Bad night (1192)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer

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  (205): Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer http://tfl.nu/3cgt
  Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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  (623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt
  Replies (9) Good night (1124) Bad night (4178)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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  (203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb
  Replies (5) Good night (2738) Bad night (861)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

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  (281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (972)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (1063) Bad night (449)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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  (734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (350)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.

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  (405): Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want. http://tfl.nu/hc2w
  Replies (1) Good night (648) Bad night (322)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (709) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

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  (978): .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort http://tfl.nu/ljpb
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.

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  (856): Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out. http://tfl.nu/7x65
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (247)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.

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  (508): A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award. http://tfl.nu/01jc
  Replies (0) Good night (234) Bad night (114)

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