Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

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(587): View more from Alberta

Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap

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(479): View more from Arkansas

everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.

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(406): View more from Montana

You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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(602): View more from Arizona

The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party

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(432): View more from Texas

I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.

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(925): View more from California

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.

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