I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.