i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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