Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
