Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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