the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
