i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize