you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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