i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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