Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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