butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
