they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
