I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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