Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
