Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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