i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
