i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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