No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
