I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
