okay pat passed out under dana's car
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
