I need help removing her.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
