the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
