was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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