i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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