Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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