even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
