dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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