My room smells like vodka and shame
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
