Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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