If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
