Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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