Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
