the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize